It's a Journey, Not A Destination

I started my healing journey when my mom was initially diagnosed with cancer. It was a life-changing moment for both of us. During that time, my mom moved in with me so I could accommodate her. I turned down job offers just to be close to her.

I am so used to being the strong one in my family. You know how you think you're doing something for someone else, and then realize that you could use some help too. That was me.

I was working at North Carolina Central University as the youngest employee in the Human Resources Department. As a state employee, you're offered the Employee Assistance Program. In this program, each employee can attend 3 free therapy sessions for their families and themselves.

I thought this would be perfect for my mom and me. My mom wasn't necessarily thrilled about the idea of going to therapy and didn't show. So, I went alone. I could at least talk about how I felt and learn more coping mechanisms for my mom. Halfway through the session, I realized that I didn't have it all together like I thought I did and even individual sessions would be beneficial for me and my growth.

But it was one thing! As I sat across from the therapist, I realized she couldn't necessarily relate to me. I honestly felt like all of her responses were generic and from a textbook. She couldn't relate to my culture or my life experiences.

I left there like ehhh. Maybe, this isn't for me. In my culture, there is a stigma around going to therapy. I hadn't seen many people trying to deal with their character flaws or learn better ways to cope with life. I was taught to pray about it, let go, and let God!

This experience was a bit discouraging for me and I decided not to go back to her. Then someone suggested my current therapist and I LOVE her. She's relatable, down-to-earth, and she looks like me. I felt heard and seen by her. I think it is important to normalize going to therapy and finding a therapist that fits your lifestyle.

One important thing she taught me is that the real work is done outside of our sessions. So, I started being more intentional and created a personalized plan to incorporate into my lifestyle to make self-care possible and practical. That I continue to use on my journey.

As women, we often go above and beyond for everything and everyone else around us. We’re left feeling drained and depleted. We are so frustrated and depleted that we do not make time to pour back into themselves, which ultimately affects how we show up for others.

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